“Sprintermn”: The term was coined by one of my friend to describe that strange weather we do have in the UK, where in one day you have rain, sun and chilly evenings.
This year, my great British summer was neither long, nor hot. It was a sprintermn, who lasted from May until October: hot for two weeks, cloudy for the rest of the time. As always, I lived in my suitcase and wandered in so many places. It was a summer full of contradictions, just like my life.
I’ve met new friends and lost old ones, and I will never have the closure to at least understand why. I talk shit about France every now and then but I miss it dearly.
I write jokes about dead babies but burst into tears when real ones die. Many of my wishes and goals have been fulfilled yet never have I been so…I worked, and worked and worked until my body couldn’t take it any further.
I used to have dreams about summer and now it just seems like something unattainable. I always thought that I’ll die a failure like John Kennedy Toole whom I adore but I don’t think it’s very likely.
I had a rehearsed reading of my play at the Stratford East Theatre. I script edited a script with Action on the side, and helped to write and devised the play Soapbox with Talawa Typt 15 at the Embassy Theatre. I got my first job on a British TV show and write a handful of articles for The Guardian, Complex Mag, xo Jane and more.
And now I understand why am I so uneasy about the whole concept of “making it”. Success change people, the way they see you, as Madonna said. They can’t relate to you because you’re live in another planet, far from their reality. Once you’ve made it, you’re put into a box, and no one wants you out of it. No one wants to acknowledge the truth behind “living your dreams” or doing a profession many fantasize about.
Success is a Chinese Whisper. Once you’ve told enough people that you’re the shit, they start believing it, and tell the good word to the others and that’s how people who have never read you give you great opportunities writing wise. That’s funny how, in my case, I kind of started to believe all these people who have told me since I was a kid that I would never make it.
Here I am and they’ve changed their tunes.